In 2001, my friend David from India, and 5 others began to pray about
going
to India on missions. Before coming to the US, David started a
ministry
with his brother James. Their mother was always feeding
the poor and
praying for them from her doorstep. They were quite
poor, having a dirt
floor in the kitchen and carrying water up the
hill on their heads. For
years, David and James planted seeds in
this Hindu country, but now the
harvest was near.
On September
18, 2003 we arrived in Coimbatore India. At the airport,
James told
David that his 62 year old mother had a heart attack preparing
for
our arrival. We went to the hospital and 2 hours later she died.
Within
a few minutes, we brought her body home and for 24 hours the locals
sang
songs and paid respects in her living room. After 24 hours we buried
her
in a pine box, lowering it with ropes into the hole. The place was in a
beautiful
tea field overlooking the Nilgiris Mountains.
One evening during a
village meeting, I prayed for a woman with a bone
sticking out of her
wrist. The Lord completely healed her and it was
amazing!! I felt
the bone moving as I held her, and I kept hearing God say
"open your
eyes". I was so tired and not believing it was happening and
kept
telling God to please heal her. Finally the voice to open my eyes was
so
loud, I couldn't pray any longer and I opened my eyesand she was
healed
and crying! At the exact same moment, my friend David was
praying for a
deaf man and the Lord opened his ears! He was jumping
and yelling and
crying and ran to the bongos and began to bang on
them!
We went to this piece of land that David's father had left
behind when he
died years before. James and David were always
planning to build their mom
a home with running water here. We
prayed and God showed us to build a
ministry building. Since 2003,
this building has been built, and now stands
four stories tall,
housing missionaries, pastors, the church and the church
offices.
The well has brought abundant water supply!! He has provided all
the
funds needed and there are no loans on this building!
Once, last year, the
radical Hindu's were going around this area finding Christian buildings
that
were not up to code and going to the government. The government began
to
demolish them. I told my pastor here in Clearwater, Florida and he
prayed
and the Lord said to bring it to the congregation. He did and
all the funds
were raised on a Wednesday night to finish the
exterior of the building and
bring it up to code and the government
has left them alone! Only God can
continue to do this work!
Last January I had the privilege of traveling to Swaziland, Africa
on a vision trip with AIM. For as long as I can remember I have had the
desire to travel to Africa, so this was like a dream come true! A piece
of my heart was left there, in Swaziland, in the care of the beautiful
people I met and ministered to there. Actually, they ministered to me in
ways I could not have anticipated or believed.
Upon our first visit to the Nsoko
carepoint, I stepped off of the bus and before I even had both feet
on the ground a little girl had literally climbed her way up my legs
and into my arms! She was probably around three or four years old and
was covered in sweat and dirt. As soon as she was settled in my arms she
took my face in both of her hands and positioned it so that we were
locked in an eye to eye gaze! I was breathless...
In that second, the Father of the universe reached down, grabbed a
hold of my heart and whispered into my soul "There you are!" I realized,
to the core of my being, that I had traveled across an ocean to a
different continent for the express purpose of holding this little girl
in my arms. She knew it and I knew it! She didn't wait for me to bend
over and pick her up or even notice her standing there in the red dirt
lost in the slanting shadows of the African sun. She made the first move
and grabbed hold of me.
That was only one of many lessons and truths I learned during my
brief time in Swaziland. It really is a two fold lesson, I suppose:
1. Jesus doesn't wait for us to pay attention or to notice Him...He
offers His love freely. He loved me before I took notice and certainly
before I deserved it. That is mercy...that is grace! Just like my little
friend in Swaziland, He always welcomes me with arms outstretched and
love in His eyes.
2. I am not supposed to hesitate, before I crawl up into the arms
of my Father. For so much of my life I held back and stayed in the
shadows. Sometimes, wanting God to notice me; often times hoping He
wouldn't see what the shadows were helping me to hide! My Lord wants me
close to him, in His arms...even covered in my own filth and shame!
Because thanks to the unspeakable gift of Jesus, even my worst is
covered by His best...His blood! That is all the Father sees when He
draws me near. The rest falls away...all that remains is love and Him
repeating softly and tenderly into my ear: "There you are...there you
are...there you are..."
We had not been in Nauta for 24 hours, and we quickly jumped into VBS.
Everything
was ready: sing some songs, a bible story, and a game to end. Of
course, God has a sense of humor. Being as it is the "dry season" in
the
Jungle, nobody expected the torrential downpour of rain that soon
interrupted
our plan. We also discovered soon enough that jungle rains
and
aluminum roofs do not mix. We made it through the singing and bible
story,
but how in the world would we be able to explain our game? The
sound
of the pouring rain was deafening, and there was no end in sight.
We
all just stood there for a moment, and then it seemed as we had no
other
choice. We grabbed the hands of the children nearest us and ran
out
into the rain. The unexpected shower washed over our faces as we
ran
across the increasingly muddy terrain. As the downpour continued, a
natural
'slip-n-slide' developed in the mud. The children began
encouraging
our guys to grab them by their hands and feet and sliding
them down,
what I would describe as the 'jungle water slide'. Mud was
flying
everywhere, and the screams of laughter and joy filled the church
grounds.
Eventually, not one person was left without a bit of mud
covering his or
her clothes and face. As the laughter began to fade,
the rain stopped.
Now, we still had another service to prepare for,
for the coming
evening. The rain had halted, and realization
appeared on our faces.
We're completely covered in mud and not
nearly enough water is available
for bathing. As we circled up in
prayer for more rain, we all felt this
sense of giddiness. After
months of awaiting this trip, we finally were
all here, together. In
a way, I felt like a young child. I couldn't
contain the laughter
of how silly we all looked, and now we're praying
for rain to wash us
clean.
The rain came, but wasn't nearly enough. So as we made
our way to the
well, the children followed. They began pouring
water over each of us,
and wiped their fingers over our faces and in
our ears. I felt so
blessed: we all did. It seemed so symbolic to
everything we had
experienced since training camp. We all arrived
spiritually dirty. The
grime ran deep in many of us. In a small
amount of time, we became
completely broken, and Jesus washed us
clean. Many of us remember that
day and cherish it. The children
barely knew us, and they jumped at the
chance to serve. It sounds
silly, to be so blessed by feeling like a
kid again. But it reminds
me of the very passage of scripture we taught
about that day. Mark
10:13-16, when the children come to Jesus. We
were reminded that day
what it's like to be a child, and to have faith
and joy in the Lord.
"I want to go to a good college, have a good career so that
I can be financially secure and serve God."
As my cousin, Joe, said this to me from across the couch, I
saw myself a decade ago.At 16, this
seemed to be the dependable, normal, accepted goal for life.One thing would follow another and would
surely lead to a successful and happy life.It pleased my parents and my peers, and was met with general applause.
Now at 27, I sit across the couch from Joe and tell him to
reconsider.Why?Because there are
bigger questions in life than, "Will I have enough money? In the short lives that we live on this earth, it is more important to live with purpose than chasing after security and comfort.
As a teenager, you
need to havereal experiences.What is your
purpose in life? Who were you made to be? Only real experiences
will show you these things.Sharing a
sandwich with someone who hasn't eaten yet this week will teach you about your
place in this world.Helping rebuild a
roof will show you what your strengths and weaknesses are.Real experience is key.
Real experiences have
real risk.A real experience is not
safe and padded-which is why it's so meaningful.It forces you to go outside the safe,
familiar walls of home and learn what it really means to trust God.Not the, "I trust that God will bring me my
iPod" kind of trust.Real, desperate,
gut-wrenching trust in circumstances that you can't control.You could get sick.You could get caught in a hurricane. (Really
did happen to us.)And through that,
you'll begin to see who God really is.
Once you begin to see who you are, and who God is, the rest
of life will look very different.Imagine if you could catch a vision for the
purpose of your life at 16? It may
include a good college and a good career, but you'd go into your adult life
with an idea of who God made you to be and what you're supposed to do with your
life.
Want to find yourself?Go on an Ambassador trip with us
this summer.Have a real, meaningful
experience.Meet a real God.Stop thinking and start knowing.Start experiencing the
goodness and realness of life that God has to offer you.
Woke up this morning to a post from a friend entitled "We
Are Better Than This," with a link to a new website, appropriately named www.wearebetterthanthis.com.It's a really well-done website in memoriam
of the victims of a horrific crime committed here in NH last week.Four teenage boys went into a random house
with machetes and knives and hacked a mother and daughter to pieces.It was awful.It was beyond awful.The mother
died, and the daughter is in stable condition after many hours of surgery.Clearly this is an example of pure evil in
the world, and we are all in shock.
But we are NOT better than this.This is what humanity is.Left to our own devices, we as humans will
hack up our neighbors and light fire to houses.Without the light and hope of Jesus, we are a depraved race.
We can look at these four teenagers and say, "Well, I would
never do something like that," and feel justified in ourselves.But the truth is that we verbally and
emotionally hack people up all day.That
cross look you gave the lady at work whom you despise.The time you knew you were wrong, but blamed
the other person.The simple act of
walking past a homeless person, pretending that they didn't exist.We lie, we cheat, we steal joy from people
all day long...and think that because we didn't physically harm them that we are
somehow the righteous and just few.
I have a bad habit of walking through Walmart judging
people.It's easy.My default human setting is to look at others
and mentally point out all the ways in which I am better than them.But one day I caught myself and asked Jesus
to help me see people the way he did.And I couldn't stop smiling.I
said "hello" to people.I made others
smile.I had a wonderful afternoon.
But my source of happiness and joy was not myself.I am an empty pit of despair and
anguish.But with Jesus, I can be
overflowing with hope and love and joy.
We are not better than this.But Jesus is.
Where does your strength, happiness and joy come from?
Remember.The Bible
is full of people remembering.God
remembers his people.People build rock
piles and hold feasts to remember.And
for many years it seemed a little repetitive to me.I mean, God parted the sea-isn't that a
little hard to forget?How could you
forget that you were slaves for 400 years?
But we do.I woke up
this morning, and I had forgotten that it was September 11th.How could I forget that?And I turned on the TV, grateful to see that every
news station had remembered.I wanted to
remember.I wanted to relive that day
from eight years ago.Because it's so
important to remember.
On September 11th, 2001 I had returned to college
after attending basic training.I
remember watching every newscast we could find.And I started shining my boots.I
didn't know what else to do but to get my gear ready.Three years later, I sat in a hangar in Kuwait on
September 11th.
That day shaped our lives forever.In many ways, it is a part of who we are.And a tragedy like September 11th shows
us who we really are-much more than any of the easy days.On September 11th, 2001 we forgot
our grudges against family and friends.We
stopped to help someone instead of rushing to work.We talked to God.We crash-landed a plane in a field to save
the lives of others at our own expense.
That is why we are supposed to remember.Jesus didn't say, "Do this in remembrance of
me" because he wanted us to start a rote ritual.He was saying, "Hey, remember this moment
because it's going to change and shape mankind for all eternity.This night will forever be a part of who you
are."And horrible things happen when we
start to forget.
When we forget, we become captives again.It happened to the Israelites and it happens
to us everyday.We become captives to
bad habits, laziness, selfishness, materialism...stuff.We forget who we really are and who we were
made to be when we forget the events that started the communion tradition.
So remember.
Someday, this date will become a blip in the newsbanner
running at the bottom of the screen.We
will forget September 11th.We forgot that we were slaves, and longed for Egypt.
My aunt sent me a video that woke me up this morning.It was a 7.5 minute long video describing in
detail how Muslims are going to outnumber everybody in the next 50 years,
simply because they're have 8 times the number of kids we are.Which is true.And after 7 minutes of statistics and scary
background music it ended like this:
"As believers, we call upon you to join the effort and share
the gospel message with the changing world.This is a call to action."
Now, if you'd watched the preceding 7 minutes, you would
have thought their call to action would be something like: "If you're a
Christian, go have 20 babies NOW."But
the call to action was to share the gospel.And deep down within me, my spirit said,
"Well, duh."
The statistics that they reported are accurate.The Muslim culture is popping out a heck of a
lot more kids than we are.But it's a
culture shift that's happening, not necessarily a faith shift. Because
the reality is that most Europeans and Americans don't really believe in Jesus anyway.
It's a Christian culture, but not faith. We go to the cathedrals and churches
out of habit, but we've long been asleep at the wheel.
Similarly, most Muslims aren't really followers. It's their culture, and
they pray on Fridays and fast during Ramadan (going on now) more out of habit
and expectations (fear of stoning) than anything else. Allah to them is
the same lucky rabbit's foot that Jesus is to most
"Christians."
The real issue is that people are leaving their faith at a
faster rate than ever before, and my generation is leading the way. The message
that we're selling is on the clearance rack, and nobody's buying.So the real question isn't, "How do we get
rid of these pesky Muslims?"-but how do we reach out to our friends and
neighbors with the reality of Jesus?
"In every thing give thanks..." 1 Thessalonians 5:18
Today started out pretty crappy. No really...it was crappy.
We woke up after about 4 hours of sleep to the Home Depot people arriving to deliver our new washer and dryer. They hooked up the washer and started testing it, and all was good. Until we realized that sewage was backing up in our kitchen - all under the sink and all over the kitchen floor. So I'm standing there, 38 weeks pregnant, in a nightgown, with poo water on my kitchen floor. This is really against my nesting instincts.
So we called the emergency plumbing people, stopped the flow of poo water, cleaned it up, took a shower, and went out for breakfast. And the whole time I am grumbling. "Why do these things have to happen? I'm tired, I've got too many things to do today already, and we were already tight on money...why?!?!? God, did you take the day off?"
And as I'm driving to McDonald's I get kick in the pants from God. I drive past one of our refugee families. (Concord is a big settling place for refugees.) They have a car, and it's way older and broken than mine, but I bet they are psyched because they own a car. And I remembered a sermon once that Rob Bell did about being thankful for the problems you are able to have.
And so, I am thankful that I am lucky enough to have poo water in my kitchen...because many people don't have water, or a kitchen--or even water in their kitchen. I am rich enough to have these problems.
I'm thankful that the Home Depot people woke me up at 8am...because we are able to buy a washer and a dryer.
I'm thankful that my biggest worry is how we're going to shuffle money to pay for this...and not "how are we going to pay for this?"
"You know that pain in your back? Let's get rid of it."
Whoa. I hesitated just a bit. This would require a little more stepping out of the comfort zone. Was I comfortable with asking for healing? No. Did I want to get rid of the crippling pain I'd been feeling for 3 days. Oh yeah.
And God said, "These 35 people have been praying for the past 3 hours, getting right with me and with each other. When do you think a better time will come? Do you really think there is a better set of circumstances for this? They're ready, you're ready...it's time for you all to try this out together."
So I did it. I asked the group to gather around me and pray for my back. I had about 35 pairs of hands on my back and Shea said, "I want you all to pray louder and harder than your neighbor." And when they all started at once, I was blown away. These kids were real, and they were going at it with everything they had.
I laughed. I couldn't help it. I was so happy and so filled with joy about what was going on. It wasn't crazy nutter laughing. It was just the laugh of someone who was so happy that they couldn't help but giggle.
They stopped praying and I thanked them. My back still hurt, but I wasn't giving up yet. Maybe it'll just take a few minutes. And I prayed. "God, if you only take away this pain tonight, that would be enough. If it comes back tomorrow, it's okay. But let me be able to tell these people that when they prayed, you answered. And I walked around a little bit, and Shea talked to the group.
And after about 5 minutes, it was all gone. I mean...gone. This was burning, radiating pain for 3 days. Gone. I was so pumped. I told the group that it was gone, and I think they were pumped too.
What a night. It had happened. The Holy Spirit thing had happened, and it was so awesome, and it wasn't scary at all. It wasn't even really all that weird. I actually told my chiropractor in NH about the back pain part today. Turns out that I had a rib that had popped out of alignment with my spine. She popped it back in. I should've still had pain this morning when I went to see her, but I didn't.
I got my wave. I'm not so scared anymore. My question of the Holy Spirit is no longer, "How?" but "so...what's next?" The devil may have gone down to Georgia, but Jesus certainly went to Kentucky.
So I flew to Kentucky and drove the 3 hours out to Harlan. It was a killer ride because my back was killing me. I am almost 7 months pregnant at this point and have been seeing a chiropractor for the past 2 weeks because of some painful alignment issues. Rental cars and pregnant spines do not mix.
I get there and meet the group. We all get together for group worship that evening, which is always a blast. But then I get this idea for an exercise/message while one of the group's leaders is praying. (the exercise/message) I need a few supplies, so I scavenge them from downstairs and come back to worship. But I don't know if I should do it or not. Is it my idea? Is it God's idea? Is it God's idea, but I want to do it because I want everyone to think that I had a good idea? I hold back.
Long story short: we did it the next night. I had a really good heart-to-heart with God beforehand. "I want to do this for you God, and not for my own coolness. Speak through me." I kept hearing this lie that I wasn't good enough to do this. And he said, "Jen, you're not good enough. But you are good enough for me to use." Whoa. I like that...let's roll then!
So I got up in front of the group and didn't know where to start. "Start with Ray's story." Okay, that sounds like a good place, God...
Now I am a decent public speaker...but I am not THAT good. The story and the message just flowed out of my mouth like the most beautiful poem. It was me, but it wasn't just me. I had some help. And idea after idea, and word after word just came out. It was beautiful.
And then I realized it...this is it! I'm not a babbling idiot! I'm still in control of my faculties, yet fully inspired and led. This is cool. This is the stuff! So I just ran with it.
And I spoke, and God spoke, and we sang and it was just awesome. And next thing I knew I had everyone in a circle and I'm dancing and we're singing and Shea's doing his guitar thing and jimbay-dude is doing his jimbay thing...and it rocked. And I didn't feel like a crazy. In fact, I wouldn't be entirely embarrassed to repeat it all in NH.
And then God said, "You want to get really wild?"....
As a teenager, you
need to have real experiences.
Remember.
Now I am a decent public speaker...but I am not THAT good. The story and the message just flowed out of my mouth like the most beautiful poem. It was me, but it wasn't just me. I had some help. And idea after idea, and word after word just came out. It was beautiful.