I get there and meet the group. We all get together for group worship that evening, which is always a blast. But then I get this idea for an exercise/message while one of the group's leaders is praying. (the exercise/message) I need a few supplies, so I scavenge them from downstairs and come back to worship. But I don't know if I should do it or not. Is it my idea? Is it God's idea? Is it God's idea, but I want to do it because I want everyone to think that I had a good idea? I hold back.

Long story short: we did it the next night. I had a really good heart-to-heart with God beforehand. "I want to do this for you God, and not for my own coolness. Speak through me." I kept hearing this lie that I wasn't good enough to do this. And he said, "Jen, you're not good enough. But you are good enough for me to use." Whoa. I like that...let's roll then!

So I got up in front of the group and didn't know where to start. "Start with Ray's story." Okay, that sounds like a good place, God...

Now I am a decent public speaker...but I am not THAT good. The story and the message just flowed out of my mouth like the most beautiful poem. It was me, but it wasn't just me. I had some help. And idea after idea, and word after word just came out. It was beautiful. 

And then I realized it...this is it! I'm not a babbling idiot! I'm still in control of my faculties, yet fully inspired and led. This is cool. This is the stuff! So I just ran with it. 

And I spoke, and God spoke, and we sang and it was just awesome. And next thing I knew I had everyone in a circle and I'm dancing and we're singing and Shea's doing his guitar thing and jimbay-dude is doing his jimbay thing...and it rocked. And I didn't feel like a crazy. In fact, I wouldn't be entirely embarrassed to repeat it all in NH. 

And then God said, "You want to get really wild?"....